🔥 MIRASSA: “Remember Me” Café Serves Only Memories. Edibles Not Included.
In the steam district of Beraim, Aronia has opened a one-of-a-kind café where no food or drinks are served — only lived memories.
Customers select a mood (for example: “first love, before you knew it could hurt” or “sunlight through smoke after loss”) — and the staff transmits it directly into the emotional cortex of the brain.
“This isn’t to satisfy hunger. It’s to remind you that you’re still capable of feeling something,” says the café owner, a former poet with burnout syndrome.
Dominium has temporarily banned its citizens from visiting the café, citing a “risk of emotional anarchy.”
🛡️ TESSALIN: New Standard for the “Friendly Smile” — Exactly 7 Degrees, No More
In response to a rise in “chaotic emotional mimicry,” Dominium has enacted the official DU-7 standard (Friendly Smile, Variant 7), specifying:
- corner lift angle of lips: 7° ± 0.3
- no display of teeth (considered threatening)
- eyes: half-open, with a neutral focus
Smile inspections have begun at administrative levels. Violators receive either a warning or an “ethical cue” — an artificial voice that gently reminds:
“Smile within safe parameters.”
🧠 SIERO: Ortaz Creates New Emotion. Humanity Can’t Withstand It for More Than 9 Seconds.
A group of neuroarchitects from Ortaz has unveiled a new form of emotion, tentatively named V-9 “Syndria.”
This emotion:
- has no known analog in human culture
- activates brain regions that don’t usually interact
- causes tears, trembling, a sense of unity with everything — and simultaneous total isolation
Dominium military analysts have classified Syndria as a non-humanoid psychotropic weapon.
Aronia simply responded:
“Whoa. I’ll take two.”
🌀 Coming in the Next Issue:
— A fresh joke was arrested on Tessalin
— Mirassa invents a dance to relieve diplomatic tension — one alliance already broken
— Ortaz declares an emotional moratorium on Fridays